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My Dead Friend (A Poem)

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This is a poem I wrote called "My Dead Friend" its so long that if I had put it on the literature page, it wouldnt taken to much space and taken too long to load. This poem belongs to me, so in no way shape or form try and take any credit for it, or you'll be in big trouble.

My Dead Friend

Take a step forward, fuck myself up
Take a step backward, fuck myself up

Traveling along this wasteland, pouring my blood into a cup

Walking down a barren road, rotting from the inside

Playing in my head, trying to keep occupied

Decrepit smile as I cut across the skin

Rusted feelings as I try to find a place to hide in

Forgotten realms of my mind

Shattered beyond repair of any kind

So easy to blame it on another

Death from the inside, killing the mother

An obscene way of dying

An obscene amount of lying

Blackened eyes straining to see

Blackened eyes that belong to me

Three steps forward, three steps backward

Leading nowhere, always going downward

Watching my reflection in the puddle of tears

Watching my reflection in the veil of my fears

Lost among these confused faces

Lost among these worn out places

Tired hands grip the knife

Tired hands weary of life

A burning desire to hurt

A burning need to make another feel as dirt

Traveling across the mortal coil

Blood running as crudely as oil

A cold laugh coming from my lips

Remembering what it was like to kiss

Red lines piling up on my arm

So many different ways I could've avoided harm

I do believe I am going to hell

And I have never felt so well

Morbid inclination for self-destruction

No longer a need for me to function

Shattered pieces on the floor

And there will be many more

Unflinching hate in myself

And deeper and deeper it will delve

I like to see myself in pain

I love playing this sad little game

And through it all, I have a dead friend

That will guide me to the end

He bites hard, leaving a trail

His cut is sharp, and it will never fail

Trapped in a place among the stained

Shoulder to shoulder with the rest of the contained

Bloodshot eyes frantic

Tattered mind in a panic

So beautifully tainted

And so exquisitely wasted

I am free to be bound

My face is pressed into the ground

Now I stand before the gates awaiting the flood

Ah... how its comes gushing out like the blood

I require no justification

For this self-mutilation

Candles burn in my room

Trying to light my way from gloom

Kill this feeling

I will not be found kneeling

Ah... my dead friend

We will see the end

But not yet

There is still more regret

Quited anger that flashes

Distilled sadness that crashes

Into the walls of my head

As I lay here wide awake in my bed

Year by year these pains continue

And day by day they begin anew

Hell loves her children

My, how she embraces the fallen

I will join them

And I shall not sparkle as a gem

But now a revival of hate

And such a sad sorry state

Please stop me now

I wish I were happy and that I knew how

Too late, the stain returns

It is pain I crave, and it is for pain that my soul yearns

My dead friend has come back

And now hes leading me on this track

He bites hard the wrist

He edges closer to the fist

Gasps of pain and pleasure

Glady dying at my leisure

The blood, my how it runs

It gushes by the tons

My bloodshot eyes are being closed

A death has been proposed

I smile at my dead friend

The best I've had right till this bitter end.......